Depression- The Silent Killer. - The Mum Behind the Magic

WARNING: The following content is sensitive and may be triggering to those suffering from, recovering from or recovered from depression and/or other mental health problems.

We all know when somebody is ill, or not quite right. It is normally quite obvious. If it’s anorexia, they look frail and you can see every bone in their body through their skin. If it’s a cold, we see the victim with a red raw nose, tissues in hand. If someone has broken a bone, we see a cast, or crutches. If it’s cancer, we see people who are losing their hair, in wheelchairs or maybe even hooked up to an oxygen tank. Most of the time, when we see these people, we feel sorry for them. If it’s a friend, or a family member, we might even buy them a card and some flowers, telling them we hope they get better soon.

Depression is not the same as the other illnesses above. Yes, it is like anorexia and can take over your life, affecting every aspect of it. Yes, like a cold, it will affect you for the whole day, constantly interrupting what you’re doing like an oncoming sneeze. Yes, it is like a broken bone in the fact that it causes a great amount of pain. And yes, it is like cancer, in that it has the possibility of killing you.

But how many people would you look at and be able to say “They’re ill- with depression”? The sad truth is, probably not many. It is estimated that 5% of all teenagers/young adults will suffer from depression, with only 20% of those cases being appropriately diagnosed and treated. Why? Because too often someone who is brave enough to come forward and say “I am depressed and I need help” is laughed off and told they’re a teenager, they’re not depressed, they’re dramatic and hormonal. Bottom line is, most teenagers who claim to have depression are not taken seriously.

And we wonder why so many cases go without diagnosis. Why so many people die before we even have the chance to realize that they weren’t happy with their life. The number is too large, and it has to stop- now.

One of the most difficult things about depression is that, as it is a mental health problem, for so long it goes unseen and unheard- totally invisible to the people surrounding the victim. It is a chemical imbalance in our brain that affects our moods and our thoughts and causes this depression- and with no one able to see into our minds, how is any body supposed to realize that there is something wrong? Surely it is impossible?

Wrong.

Here is a list of the symptoms of someone with depression:

Irritability or depressed moods.
Loss of interest in usual activities/hobbies etc.
Low energy- restlessness.
Poor concentration.
Sleeping too much/too little.
Noticeable weight loss or weight gain
Feeling hopeless or helpless
Feeling worthless or guilty.
Thoughts of death or suicide.

This list is long enough, there are more than enough symptoms to look out for. Sometimes, all it takes is an extra minute of your time. For example, your friend has seemed sad for a few days now, keeping themselves to themselves, not eating much, looking a little tired. You thought she was just hormonal. Maybe you should take that extra minute to ask again. Ask how she feels. Ask what’s going on. Many cases of depression are missed purely because no one took the time to ask more- the victim told everyone that they were okay, and even if no one believed them, no one quizzed them further. Depression may be a mental illness, a silent killer of sorts, but there are plenty of subconscious symptoms the victim portrays to look out for. We need to start paying attention.

Sometimes, it’s alright. The victim is able to seek help themselves and feel a little better. However, experts have found that once a victim has had one case of untreated depression, they are likely to have another one in the next five years. And as passers by, we just don’t see it, don’t notice and don’t care enough to try to help. Unfortunately, it’s not usually until the depression becomes more than an illness of the mind but becomes a physical one too that we end up noticing- and sometimes, by then, it’s too late. Whether it takes the form of a severe eating disorder, self harming or suicide, by then the victim not only has the mental illness to deal with but the cuts on their arm, the damage they have done to their insides with an OD on drugs or the fact they’ll never give birth because their eating habits have ruined their system. And dealing with all this extra stuff, that came about because of depression, only then makes the depression worse. A vicious, seemingly never-ending cycle. Look at actor Robin Williams, who passed away just yesterday morning (12/08/2014). Known for being a comedian, and a humorous actor, no one was even aware he had depression- until he committed suicide.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. All it takes is a little less self-absorption and a little more interest into other people’s lives. Keep pursuing the question. If your friend is tired everyday, don’t give a sympathetic smile and say “yeah, know the feeling”. Ask them why. What’s keeping them up so late every night? If you see your friend looks a bit teary pretty regularly, take the time to get them on their own and ask them what’s going on.

Obviously, this won’t end the depression. This won’t make them better, just like that. But it does do two things- it gives your friend someone they can now trust with their problem and it makes you aware of the problem. And while it seems a big responsibility for you to deal with alone, it doesn’t have to be. You can rely on a responsible adult, your friends parent, your own parent, a doctor- there are even helplines you can ring. It can be tough trying to help someone you love cope with a mental health issue such as depression, but it’s something you should never have to do alone, and even if the person you’re trying to help has made you swear blind that you won’t tell anyone, usually it’s a good idea to.

As I have written already, helping someone with depression won’t happen instantly and it won’t happen easily. But those baby steps towards helping them, just paying the people around you a bit more attention, they’re all so important and so beneficial. They can stop depression ending in the heartbreaking way it can. They can try to avoid letting it go too far. You can try to help your friend, your mum, your aunty, your cousin- and maybe even save their life.

Depression can be a silent killer. Look at the people around you. Are they happy? Or just pretending to be?

People shouldn’t have to go through this alone anymore. Just take some more time out of your own day and invest it into someone else’s. You never know how much you may be doing for someone else.

Love from,

Florence Grace

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