Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, a public holiday that people seem to have a bit of a love-hate relationship with.
Me? I love Valentine’s Day! I love all of the cute trinkets, homeware and gifts that come out and have no qualms purchasing too much of it for myself, regardless of whether I do or don’t have a boyfriend to share the day with. I actually blogged about why Valentine’s doesn’t suck for single people last year because I was so sick of seeing all of the single people bitch about the holiday, particularly when you know that most of them would think otherwise if they were in a relationship.
I feel much the same this year, of course. It’s my second year of being single on Valentine’s Day and I honestly couldn’t give less of a fuck because I still love the day, I still love buying cute bits like heart shaped candles for myself and I still had a lovely day. My sister and I swapped gifts for each other, spent the day in London together and then ordered a Domino’s in the evening- pretty perfect, right?
The thing is, after the year I had in 2016 in terms of boys, I actually feel like right now, I actually prefer being alone. I spent 2016 not only learning to love myself and who I was but also trying to get involved with other boys and it was just… a disaster. After being treated so poorly in my previous relationship, there’s no denying that my standards are pretty high now because I will honestly settle for nothing less than perfection; I want to be treated like the Queen I finally see myself to be. It’s taken long enough for me to learn to love myself, for me to recognise what I actually deserve and how I deserve to be treated- I’m not settling for less than the absolute best. Is that really that unreasonable?
So on Valentine’s Day, I truly took some time to love myself. To pamper myself. To appreciate myself. Right now, I’m in the mindset that no man is ever going to be able to love me the way I love myself, and I am a firm believer that the relationship you have with yourself is of the utmost importance.
The one who pushed his luck
This guy was the first guy I kissed on my first night out as a single girl. With my beer googles on, he was the hottest guy ever. I don’t remember his name or anything about him, and the only reason I even remember him after getting insanely drunk that night is because he continues to stalk me on almost every night out I have. If I see him, he always comes over and tries to kiss me. It got to the point where I actually had to have him removed from a club for harrassing me. Never. Again.
The fuck boy
There was, of course, the fuck boy. He pulled a classic “I’ll slide into her DM’s” shortly after it became public knowledge that I was single and it wasn’t long before his charm wore off and he was turning into a bit of a sleaze. Me being me, I couldn’t help but fall for the guy anyway, and he continued to fuck me about on and off for the vast majority of 2016. Sigh.
The stalker
I met a guy on a night out. We had fun together. He then proceeded to stalk me for the next couple of weeks of my life, even dragging another girl with him into my place of work and following me around the shop, whispering and giggling. The message he sent afterwards saying ‘you see me today’ was the final straw and that boy was ctrl+alt+deleted.
The nice guy
Or so I thought. I was actually having a really nice time getting to know this guy, hanging out and so on. Then I found out how he’d treated his previous girlfriend (horrifically, by the way), about all the girls he was messaging asking for nudes while with me and I realised I didn’t actually like him all too much. Next!
The booty call
This guy only ever calls me at 3am, 5am, 2am- when he’s drunk- and then gets mad when I don’t answer…because…I’m sleeping? Isn’t that kind of obvious? One time, I did answer and boy do I wish I hadn’t. Guess what he wanted? Sex, at a drug den he was hanging out at. Right there and then I knew I was better than this. #Blocked
The ghost
The final guy of 2016 was the worst. This guy allowed me to open up to him, more so than I had to any previous guys throughout the year, and to actually begin liking him and wanting more from him and then what did he do? Yep, you guessed it; he ghosted. Just like that we went from messaging all day every day to absolute radio silence; he was gone off of the face of the Earth as far as I was concerned. Fab.
I love this, and I have been going through the same feelings recently, I just have this urge to be alone. And you're looking stunning in that outfit!
Annabel ♥
Mascara & Maltesers
? such an amazing post!xox
Thank you so much lovely!
Thank you so much! Sometimes we are better off alone while we learn to embrace ourselves 🙂